I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
pray to the hookup gods
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
