He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
