I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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