I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
