I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize