I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize