We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
