Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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