I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
