I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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