The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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