i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
