Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
