New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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