dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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