This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
