my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
