his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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