Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
