At least make sure they are 18
Why
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
