Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
