Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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