My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
