jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
