I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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