Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
