i jhust puked up my retainher.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize