I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
