I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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