i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
