How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
