Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
