he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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