just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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