Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
