Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
