Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
