I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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