oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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