Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
