tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
