I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
