Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
