my room smells like sperm. sweet.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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