Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize