i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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