I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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