Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
