i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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