Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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