They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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