How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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