I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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