She said her name was "party"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
