are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize