its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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