Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize