Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
