Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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