youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
