is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
