hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize