Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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