look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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