sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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