I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
