White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Found the puke drawer
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
