You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
