so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
