I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
