youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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