Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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