I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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